An age-old activity is the simple act of casting a flat pebble over a body of water, watching it bounce and skip across the surface. This skimming effect is performed, often without thinking, to ease anxiety—a small ritual of release.

Nowadays, “skimming the surface” describes something far more common; the way we move through everyday life. We stay on the surface of our experiences, gliding from one moment to the next. Sadly, this tendency does not ease anxiety the way the childhood pastime does.

We have the opportunity to inhabit a life with our fullest presence, yet too often, we don’t take it. Skimming should be left for stone skipping. When we go deeper than the surface of life, we move from gliding on top of things to an existence of mattering and meaning.

Most things in our current society lure us toward a smooth, easy, fast ride. Today’s life motto seems to be: fit as much as possible into the schedule. Make it all look perfect. Find a way to expedite and extract information with as little effort as possible.

Somehow, these practices leave us empty.

The opposite creates a satiated life. Less is more. Expose your frailties and vulnerabilities. Dig deeper and extract meaning through examination and reflection. When we slow down and cultivate attention, the pebbles of our life drop deeper, and the experiences become richer. The following strategies are helpful practices:

Do hard things voluntarily. A challenging hike, an outing in rain or imperfect weather, a conversation you’ve been avoiding. These steps require us to dig deeper, yet the outcome becomes memorable and character-building.

Dine in a phone-free zone. Studies show that merely having a cell phone on the dinner table lessens the depth of conversation.¹ The phone doesn’t even need to be picked up. Our brains register its presence and keep the conversation lighter. Try dining without your phone even visible. Savor the flavors and texture of your food, and the deeper conversation that follows.

Get real with each other. Spend real, unstructured time with people you love, not just enjoying parallel activities.

Most of these steps revolve around connection and igniting a human spark. We crave personal interaction. Current cultures and norms convince us we can find this through technology and self-reliance, but authentic relationships invite us to rise to a deeper level of engagement.

Live with deep, intentional presence, and know that all the pebbles of our lives must drop and rest in a little murky water to marinate in richness and bounty.

Jennifer Di Francesco is a wellness explorer and desert adventurist and can be reached at www.coachellabellaboho.com.

Reference: 1) https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0022103117301737#!