Summer often brings more family visits, vacations, weddings, lunches and gatherings, and with them, a renewed awareness that an aging parent may need a few new outfits or seasonal clothing updates.

As a geriatric care manager, I frequently hear versions of the same concern from families: “Mom needs clothes, but every time we buy something, she hates it.” “We took her shopping, but she became overwhelmed.” “She says she wants new things, but then nothing feels right once it arrives.”

Families are often left frustrated and confused. Why has something as simple as buying clothes suddenly become so difficult? What many caregivers do not realize is that shopping resistance in older adults is extremely common, and it is often about far more than clothing.

Shopping requires more energy than we often realize. All of us, even younger adults, sometimes can become overwhelmed when shopping. Many have experienced abandoning a cart full of online purchases, leaving clothing in a dressing room, feeling decision fatigue after scrolling endless options or ordering multiple sizes only to return everything later.

Now imagine layering onto that daily fatigue, vision or hearing changes, mobility limitations, arthritis, cognitive slowing, a changing body, balance concerns, sensory sensitivity, anxiety and grief around aging.

Shopping involves visual processing, decision-making, physical stamina, concentration, body awareness and emotional energy. What looks like “pickiness” may actually be exhaustion or overwhelm.

One of the most overlooked aspects of aging is how emotionally connected clothing can be to identity. Many older adults quietly struggle with the feeling that nothing fits the same anymore, styles feel unfamiliar, fabrics feel uncomfortable or their body no longer feels recognizable.

For some older adults, rejecting clothing is not really about the outfit itself. It may reflect loss of control, frustration with aging or fear of change.

Families often unintentionally make shopping harder by offering too many options at once. Questions like “Which one do you want?” or “Do you like any of these?” can feel overwhelming rather than helpful. Instead, simplify. Offer only one or two choices at a time. For example: “Would you prefer the blue sweater or the soft beige one?” Reducing choices often reduces anxiety.

One of the best strategies is surprisingly simple: look at what your loved one already wears repeatedly. Notice favorite fabrics, sleeve lengths, colors, necklines and fit preferences. Then look for similar items rather than completely new styles.

At 94, most people are not looking to reinvent their wardrobe. They are looking for comfort, familiarity, dignity and ease. If she loves one cardigan, buying several similar versions may work far better than introducing entirely new options.

For many older adults, stores themselves become overstimulating: bright lights, noise, walking distances, mirrors, dressing rooms, crowds and pressure. Instead, consider bringing a few carefully selected items home and presenting them calmly in a familiar environment.

No rushing. No pressure. No marathon shopping trips.

When shopping for an older loved one becomes difficult, simplifying the process can often help significantly. To summarize these practical recommendations:

Identify two favorite existing outfits and use them as a guide.
Buy close variations rather than entirely new styles.
Limit choices to one or two options at a time.
Try clothing at home rather than in stores whenever possible.
Prioritize softness, comfort and ease of dressing.
Expect slower decisions and allow extra time.
Keep the emotional tone light, calm and pressure-free.

Most importantly, remember that shopping resistance is rarely about being “difficult.” Often, it is simply another example of how aging changes the way people experience the world around them.

Laurel Fuqua is a registered nurse, geriatric care manager and regional director with About Senior Solutions. She combines her 25 years of experience with the company’s 19 years in California for their new Coachella Valley branch. She can be reached at (760) 338.3170 or laurelfuqua@aboutseniorsolutions.com.