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Going to the Chapel with PMS

(Personal Money Symptoms, that is)

By Michele T. Sarna, CFP®, AIF®
Discussing your relationship with money before you tie the knot is a wise idea.

Marriage is an exciting time in one’s life. Planning for a wedding entails a lot of time and effort, regardless of the size of the celebration. Nowadays, there are many layers to consider when contemplating those nuptials. Where will you live? Do you want kids? Are you marrying into an instant family? 

Ask yourself if your significant other is aware of your PMS. Bringing your personal money symptoms to the relationship may not have made the discussion list. 

Not all partners see eye to eye when it comes to money. What association with money do you and your partner bring to the relationship? Everyone has a way they view and feel about money, which may have been molded from their childhood, influenced by their parents, or unconsciously despised due to life events, whether good or bad. 

Odds are, you both have different views on money even if you grew up in similar environments. 

Start the conversation. Like inquiring about past romances, ask if there is a memorable event dealing with money or finances. How did their parents handle money? What does money mean to them?

Empathize. Our personalities don’t evolve overnight, nor does our relationship with money. Be empathetic of the other’s feelings and potential reactions to money situations. Do they count every penny or spend freely? Try not to judge one another on reactions to monetary events. Work on ways to understand each other and discuss spending habits without blaming.

Stay the course. Plan to be impulsive. Create a spending plan to allow for the other’s traits to be incorporated without overspending or over-denying. Schedule ongoing monthly finance meetings with each other to discuss what purchases or savings goals you want to achieve that month. Include long-term financial goals and check on the progress of reaching those goals. Scheduling a meeting with each other will help subside emotions and reactions resulting in a productive, loving conversation.

Learn from one another. Pick a positive action of the other and try to emulate that action for a day, week, month or longer. 

The big picture. There will be financial obstacles along the way, but if you remain united and understand where each of you is coming from, you will reach a consensus on how to handle these challenges.

Michele Sarna is a certified financial planner™ with Beacon Pointe Advisors and can be reached at (760) 932.0930 or msarna@beaconpointe.com. 

Provided as information only and should not be considered investment, tax, or legal advice or a recommendation to buy or sell any type of investments. Asset Allocation, portfolio diversification, and risk strategies cannot assure or guarantee better performance and cannot eliminate the risk of investment losses. Form ADV contains important information about Beacon Pointe Advisors, LLC, and may be viewed at: adviserinfo.sec.gov.

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