As we arrive in the moment and witness what is set before us, we choose how to relate while stepping into empowerment. We inadvertently toggle back and forth between judgments, such as assessing things as good or bad and comparing experiences, people or situations while trying to fix perceived problems.
Embedded in our culture and our way of relating to the world is the judging, comparing and fixing mind. Incessantly we do this even when there is no need to compare, fix or judge. If we entered into experiences accepting what is there as it exists, we might invite mystery. By navigating waters, we find ourselves aligned with what serves us without trying to create an identity. There is no need to demand life to be other than what it is.
When we find ourselves comparing, fixing or judging, we are in a reactive mind and are thereby defined by this fixation. Our choices become limited as we control and manipulate situations. While living in a world of duality, we resemble a puppet on a string dancing back and forth to music consisting of comparisons, judgments and “fix it” challenges.
Moving into a state of grace, having more questions and not demanding answers, allows us to cherish our beginner’s mind. A wise personal statement that can be repeated internally when presented with a life situation is “Ah, this moment is like this,” and then when another situation appears, “Ah-ha, and this moment is like this.” Moving into one experience and then another while reaffirming how those experiences are just as they are is a “wise view.”
Out of the three: judging, comparing or fixing, ask yourself what is your primary and secondary tendency? These tendencies are part of your “inner committee,” just as we sit on task forces that have members of a committee. We have many committee members that hide within us; some are reactive, and some are responsive. By learning to hold the power and mystery of liminal space, we let go of our roles and witness the potential waiting to unfold. The word liminal comes from the Latin root “limen,” which means threshold. It marks a time that is waiting to be known.
For the past year, many of us have experienced liminal space. We have also found that all our efforts to fix, judge and compare have proven to be futile. Embracing liminal space is an invitation to surrender. Transformation happens when we are not in charge.
A beautiful poem called “The Real Work” by Wendell Berry unfolds with the words, “It may be that when we no longer know what to do, we have come to our real work.” Let’s begin to trust the flow and evolution of our life path and know that something incredible is waiting to be known.
Jennifer Di Francesco is a wellness explorer and desert adventurist and can be reached at [email protected].