Laughter isn’t just a reaction—it’s a remedy. Think of it as internal jogging; a hearty laugh strengthens your core, boosts endorphins (which are 200 times more potent than morphine), and reduces stress hormones like cortisol and epinephrine. It improves blood flow, enhances immunity and lifts your mood.¹  While young children laugh up to 300 times a day, the average adult laughs only four times daily.² That’s a lot of missed joy.

When we think of strong relationships, we often focus on love, trust and communication. But humor is a powerful, often overlooked ingredient. Couples who laugh together tend to feel more connected, resilient and satisfied. Whether it’s a shared inside joke, a friendly tease or spontaneous giggle, laughter strengthens emotional bonds and creates lasting memories.

In today’s world—marked by political divides, cultural differences, religious diversity and global stress—humor can be a bridge. It helps us navigate sensitive topics with empathy and openness, reminding us that we’re more alike than different. 

Most couples share core values like respect, kindness and trust. Focusing on these similarities, rather than trying to change each other’s beliefs, can reduce frustration, and even spark laughter. As the Serenity Prayer states: “Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.” Embracing these truths can ease frustration and perhaps even create laughter about your differences with your partner.

Bringing more laughter into your relationship

Here are some good questions to ask yourself and each other:

• When was the last time you laughed together?
• What used to make you both laugh?
• Could stress or external pressures be getting
  in the way?

How about some playful ways to rekindle laughter:

• Create inside jokes or nicknames.
  I call my husband “Hound” because I want him to be loyal, obedient and protective. It makes us laugh every day, especially the “obedient” part.
• Use humor to defuse tension. When things go wrong, we say, “Some days you’re the bug, some days you’re the windshield.” Ask yourself, “Will this be funny later?” and try to laugh now.
• Tell jokes or share funny stories. Notice when laughter has been missing and bring it back intentionally.
• Reminisce about funny moments. A 2015 study in Personal Relationships found that couples who recalled shared laughter felt more satisfied than those who remembered neutral or even positive, but humorless, memories.3
• Watch comedies together. Turn off the news and watch something that generates laughter: a funny movie, old sitcoms like Seinfeld, or even America’s Funniest Videos. Some doctors’ offices even play “I Love Lucy” to lighten the mood.
• Find humor in everyday activities. My husband and I count dogs while biking, turning our daily ride into a playful game.

Use humor wisely

Not all humor is helpful. Sarcasm, passive-aggressive jokes or humor that mocks can damage trust. Men often bond through teasing and bantering, while many women may not respond the same way. The best humor is inclusive, affectionate and kind-hearted.

Laughing matters

Laughter isn’t just a byproduct of a good relationship—it’s a building block. If you’re missing laughter in your relationship, don’t wait. Invite it back in. Laughing together might be the most underrated way to grow closer, to weather challenges and to enjoy the journey.

Dr. Susan Murphy is a best-selling author, business consultant and speaker on relationships, conflict, leadership and goal-achievement. Her newest book, Leading Successful Teams: How To Create a Winning Culture, is out now. She can be reached at Susan@DrSusanMurphy.com or visit www.DrSusanMurphy.com.

Reference: 1) https://www.wilsonmedical.com/news/2022/02/12/a-happy-heart-is-a-healthy-heart-1#; 2) https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6609137/; 3)  Kurtz, L. E., & Algoe, S. B. (2015). Putting laughter in context: Shared laughter as behavioral indicator of relationship well-being. Personal Relationships, 22(4), 573–590. https://doi.org/10.1111/pere.12095 

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