Finding wisdom in the difficult moments can be challenging—especially when we are staring those moments square in the face.

Sending your child off to kindergarten, being betrayed by a friend or making a painful decision about a family member’s health care—they all can hurt.

There is no escaping it: The heart gets bruised, our trust shaken, but our resolve remains strong. Lessons are learned, examples are made, and the world continues to revolve.

“Surrender is the journey from the outer turmoil to the inner peace.” – Sri Chinmoy

Consider these 5 ways that may help you the next time you are in the eye of the storm.

1. Listen to the voice that doesn’t speak.

This is your intuition, your inner guide. Notice if your inclination is to ignore it. Most of the time, you “know” what to do. Sometimes, we ignore that “spidey sense” to our detriment. Take a moment to be still and listen. You have more inner wisdom at your disposal than you know.

2. Speak your truth.

It may not be popular but do it anyway. You may lose friends but, if so, were they really your friends in the first place? It will be difficult. It will be sad. It will be disappointing. But you will survive and you will gain stronger bonds. The often repeated adage, ‘Say what you mean, mean what you say but don’t say it mean’ always serves us well.

3. Stand your sacred ground.

Don’t be bullied. Yes, even adults bully. And by the time they are adults, they may be really good at it. See them for who they are. They became that bully because they never resolved their own pain. That fact may not make the sting of what is being said or done less hurtful, but they are assuredly in far worse pain and cannot escape.

4. Be aware of the present time.

Use your energy “doing you” rather than continuing to focus on the hurt. This isn’t an all-or-nothing step. When you find yourself thinking of the challenge, re-focus on the current day and what is happening in the current moment. That’s how we get to the healing. Do it slowly and incrementally. It’s not possible to just flip a switch.

5. Be of service.

Do something for someone else without their knowing. Call a friend to ask how they are. If the conversation shifts to you, shift it back to them. This is not only healing for them but for you, too. Buy a coffee for the person behind you in the drive-thru. Clean out your closet and donate the clothing. Buy a dog bed to take to the animal shelter. Get out of self.

Jen Yockey is the owner of Gather, a movement and wellness studio and founder of the Recover You™ Program. She is a certified yoga instructor and master life coach and can be reached at (760) 219.7953, [email protected] or

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