In our fast-paced, technology-driven world, the voices of older adults often go unheard. Yet, listening to them is not just a matter of respect; it is a crucial aspect of building a compassionate and informed society.

Anthropologists agree that in prehistoric times, the accumulated wisdom of older people was a key to survival.¹ It is only during the past century that people have sought out anyone other than local elders for solutions to life’s challenges and problems. In the past, group members relied on elders for life-saving advice during times of crisis.  

 Consulting older people is natural for humans. After all, experience is the best teacher. As a Chinese proverb says, “To know the road ahead, ask those coming back.” 

Often, seniors say they feel invisible. This is a travesty! Our seniors are a national treasure, and we need to harvest their knowledge and experience. Plus, we need to show them deep respect for all they have survived and all they can teach us.

Our seniors have lived through floods, wars, deaths of loved ones, broken hearts, the death of a child, betrayal by close friends, bullying, kids with colic, addiction, debilitating illnesses, loss of a job and bankruptcy. Others have experienced unexpected success, with the accolades and joy that accompany it. 

Seniors are custodians of traditions, customs and stories that define a community’s identity. By sharing their experiences and knowledge, seniors help younger generations understand their roots and maintain a connection to their cultural heritage. Consider all the lessons they could teach us, if only given the opportunity!  

Mutual benefits. For young people, the guidance and mentorship from older adults can be invaluable. Listen to a senior, not a celebrity! Younger generations benefit from relationships with older adults through wisdom-sharing, skill-building and improved attitudes toward the elderly. 

For older adults, these interactions can combat feelings of isolation and loneliness, providing a sense of purpose and connection. Feeling isolated and worthless can lead to severe depression and serious illness. Seniors tell me they enjoy the fresh ideas, new ways of thinking and positive energy that younger generations provide. Their skills in using the latest technology, trends, and cultural shifts can be enlightening for older adults. By teaching them tech skills, those younger can help seniors feel connected, stay engaged and remain mentally active.  

Consider these connections as two interlocking pieces in a puzzle: young people need guidance to navigate their lives and older adults need to feel valued and cared about, and want to support younger generations. 

Methods of sharing lessons. For younger generations, seek out older people and ask them for advice and stories about their experiences. Ask open-ended questions, listen with enthusiasm and be gracious. Help seniors with technology which is one of the best ways to support connections among generations. You’ll be surprised at how wise seniors are and how much you learn!

Elders need to speak up! Don’t just wait to be asked. It’s your duty to share stories about your history, ancestors, cultural heritage and your life. That’s how people learn — from victories and mistakes — since history repeats itself. Pass on your knowledge and experience to younger generations to spare them from making your mistakes or encourage them to make choices you made. A younger person may not directly reach out for advice, but that doesn’t mean you can’t offer it if they sound like they could use some direction. I often mention with a smile that, “Free advice is worth every penny.”

To honor a life well-lived, consider documenting your experiences and lessons for others. There are now services available that will send you questions and then publish your answers. Share your stories with your loved ones and anyone else you trust, and be prepared to answer their questions as they discover what you’ve been through. Both of my parents did this and I marvel at the rich lives they had and continuously learn from their setbacks and triumphs.

People of all ages want to matter. Listening to older adults is not just about respecting their age; it’s about recognizing that their wisdom, experience, cultural heritage and support is a treasure trove that can enrich our lives and strengthen communities. Let’s make an extra effort to hear the important stories and lessons they have to share.   

Dr. Susan Murphy is a best-selling author, business consultant and speaker in relationships, conflict, leadership and goal-achievement. Her newest book, Leading Successful Teams: How to Create a Winning Culture, will be published this year. Contact her at [email protected] or visit www.DrSusanMurphy.com. 

Reference: 1) Karl A. Pillemer, PhD, Professor of Human Development, Cornell University; Author, “30 Lessons for Loving: Advice from the Wisest Americans on Love, Relationships, and Marriage.”

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