Two mature women walk into a bar. One has gray hair, the other is blonde. The blonde has glowing skin and perhaps a bit of Botox. The lady in gray seems to have spent a lifetime fly fishing without sun protection. Clearly, they have different ideas about what “aging gracefully” means, yet they’re friends. Why? Because they respect each other’s personal choices.

That’s not always the case. Often our opinions about how we should age get in the way of accepting how other women have chosen to go on that journey.

The way we choose to age is deeply personal, and each of us has the freedom to define our own path. Yet, with this freedom comes the need for acceptance — not only of our own choices but also of others. Acceptance cuts down on judgmental happy hour chatter like, “OMG, I would never….” or “What on earth was she thinking?” Always a bore to listen to.

For many, the decision to stop coloring their hair and embrace their natural gray is a powerful statement of self-acceptance. It can signify confidence, authenticity and a comfort in one’s own skin. But others don’t like the way their gray looks on them (even a little) and will color their hair on the way to their own funeral. That’s perfectly fine, too. It’s a choice, not a mandate.

The same goes for makeup. Some women scale back on makeup routines as they age, going for that natural look, whatever natural means to them. But not everyone likes the way they look with a naked face and may continue with their favorite cosmetics, finding joy and creativity in the process. Wearing makeup is not a sell out any more than going without makeup is a commitment to feminism.

For those who choose to explore cosmetic procedures such as facelifts, Botox or fillers, the decision is often motivated by a desire to feel more aligned with an internal sense of youth, not an overall shallowness or vanity. And even if it is about vanity, the decision should be treated with the same level of respect as any other personal decision.

But none of it matters more than the health of our skin. If our basic skin needs are not met, if we don’t hydrate, moisturize and protect (especially here in the desert), all the facelifts you can find won’t help in the long-term.

Think of it as skin etiquette; taking care of one’s skin is good manners. There are very few people who like to look at parched, sallow, neglected skin. Healthy skin glows. It makes a person look friendly. And friendly people elicit smiles.

So for that face in the mirror and the good of humanity, drink water, use a hyaluronic acid serum, moisturize daily, use sunblock and mind your own business. We’re all finding our own way, our own look and our own courage.

Brook Dougherty of Indio is the founder of JustUs Skincare and welcomes your questions. She can be reached at (310) 266.7171 or [email protected]. For more information, visit www.justusskincare.com.