Over the past few months, I have been way off balance, enveloped in an apathy that led to loss of interest and excessive behaviors. Depressed? I’d say a little. Overwhelmed? Aren’t we all?
There is nothing to pinpoint, just the shared loss and uncertainty we’ve all been through for way too long. Sometimes life just gets to you. And that’s OK. When such feelings arise, I try hard to hold onto “this too shall pass.”
I realized my reckless behavior was wreaking havoc on my body. Too much wine brought tingling to my limbs and bulge to my belly. Lack of movement left muscles stiff and joints achy. But I didn’t care enough to stop. I simply took more supplements to counteract the conditions.
The other intriguing excess was a passion for today’s top 40. Since Coachella, I’ve been obsessed with Harry Styles. As soon as I hear that little voice say, “Come on, Harry, we wanna say goodnight to you” my 80s dance moves take over and, no matter where I am, I dance through “As It Was.” Olivia Rodrigo’s “Good 4 You” turns me into a head-banging teenage boy and Justin Bieber’s “Ghost” sends me singing at the top of my lungs. Mid-life crisis? Maybe. I certainly must appear to be that crazy middle-aged woman (lol).
Despite all this spirit, I felt like I was losing my spirit and didn’t know how to get ‘me’ back.
In opening up to my Mom, she offered great advice sharing that, when she gets down, she tries to do one thing different every day. I liked the idea, so one day, I swam laps; other days, I changed up my walk, visited new places or found a new spot in the sun for my morning meditation.
In a short while, I felt my spirit return and with it, renewed compassion and care. It spoke loudly saying, “Enough is enough! You are better than this.” All along, my acupuncturist was telling me a liver detox would do me good, so I committed to a three-week cleanse removing all alcohol and adding detox supplements (I fortunately hadn’t abandoned my healthy eating habits).
As usual, she was right, and within ten days, the tingling miraculously went away and I was feeling like my old self. I found the happy, enthusiastic and caring me that had apparently taken a short hiatus. I am grateful we found each other once again and have added self-hugs and affirmations to my morning routine.
Oh, and beware…the impromptu dancing will be sticking around.
THE BALANCE: It’s ok to lose yourself every once in a while. Sometimes it just takes a helping hand or two to be found.