Many of my patients and friends tell me they feel so isolated from the technological world around them. QR codes and online health appointments seem beyond their capacity. Without a grandchild or a helpful neighbor to explain things, people can feel helpless to maintain their independence and dignity.

Practicing mindfulness and seeking ways to better navigate and understand this digital universe are important, worthwhile challenges for our aging population. Solutions are always available, though not always apparent. First, we must recognize the issue and shine a light on it.

“I wish I knew a nine-year-old. I’d have brought the lab results from my other doctor,” said my patient with resignation.

“What happened?” I asked.

“Apparently, I need to download them from my patient portal. I don’t have a computer and couldn’t figure it out on my phone. To top it off, they won’t give me paper copies unless I make an appointment, and I can’t afford another co-pay.”

Most of us are uncomfortable with not knowing. We prefer to express confidence and competence even when we have neither. We understood how to “act as if” until enlightenment arrived. However, this strategy is useless in our ever-changing technological universe—especially for the hundreds of millions who grew up with pencils, phonics and the process of elimination as the way to solve problems.

Aging naturally involves a slowing of neurological response time, affecting balance, hand-eye coordination, hearing, vision, memory and countless other functions. Mindfulness invites us to start where we are. We are aging, and it’s not for sissies.

Mindfulness starts with anchoring ourselves in the present moment, usually by bringing gentle attention to our inhales, our exhales and the sensations in our body. Developing respect for each moment and each step in a process allows us to defuse future fears of failure. It also helps quiet sabotaging self-talk such as, “I’m too old.”

Here are mindful suggestions to help with overwhelming feelings:

Consider: What is my intention in this situation? Get my lab results, read a document, join a Zoom meeting, etc.
Assess: Is there anyone I can ask? A friend, child, senior center or doctor’s office can walk you through a technological task. Be sure to make an appointment with your helper. Or, try to Google it or ask AI for help.
Write down what you learn, then practice. Remind yourself that it’s okay to not know. Really.
Take a mindful breath often. Do your best to interrupt frustration before it captivates you. Slow down. Then slow down some more.

Misunderstanding is the necessary prelude to understanding. Seeing no possibilities is the fertile soil from which all possibilities grow. Try smiling with your eyes, and let the corners of your mouth turn upward. You are writing your own travel guide to this brave new world. Be sure to acknowledge each winning step—and each losing step—that eventually brought you here.

The world will continue to evolve, and together we create a clearer path for those who follow. Humans will make mistakes, and from those mistakes, we can learn to love ourselves and each other. Our primary job is to get up every day—and be human.

Patty Van Santen is a doctor of acupuncture and oriental medicine and certified mindfulness teacher with Circe Healthcare Solutions. She can be reached at (760) 773.4948.